Missing my family =(

So tonight I'm missing my family. I miss being young and having my parents together. I miss how close Mitchell and I used to be, before he got all moody. I miss not having any cares in the world, just what I was going to play for the day and what I would wear. I miss getting together during holidays, having gma and lynne there. I fucking wish no one ever had to grow up. I'm so sick of everything. I just want to be happy, and I don't think that's too much to ask, but aparently it is. I just wish things could rewind and I could let everyone know how much they mean to me. I wish I could be done with school w/o having to stess out and go. I wish I could be 35, married, with kids and a career, not 20 and struggling with school and stupid relationships. I just things could be secure, and I don't see that happening for a long time....and I'm so sick of trying to hard in all my relationships wether they be friendships or relationships and never feeling like I'm getting back what I put into the relationship. I just wish I had someone around that understood........I'm going to bed, hopefully tomorrow won't be such a shitty day.....I love you mom and Jill